Wondering

I have heard and read countless accounts of people receiving guidance from God. Some have heard His voice, some have met angels, other have experienced visions--all have, in one way or another, felt a direct connection with Him. Whenever I come across one of these stories, a pinprick of envy always lurks behind my awe. Why don't you ever do that for me, God? Why can't I hear your voice, or feel such a tangible connection? If You could do that for me, maybe I wouldn't have to make all these mistakes, take all these detours.

But perhaps God is still strengthening my faith. If He appeared each day to those of little faith, trailing clouds of glory, if He answered every call for a vision or miracle, concrete evidence of His existence, we would never truly come to trust in Him. We would still cling to the physical, to the shallow limits of the tangible and physical. "Yeah, yeah, God, you want me to do this? Could you wiggle your pinky for me? Once for yes, two for no. Or, better yet, bring Shrek 4 back into theaters so I can watch it. Then I'll believe you." How can a relationship shackled by human limitation ever be as profound as one built on a trust that cannot be felt or seen, a faith that extends beyond “what eyes can see”? Maybe I have focused so singlemindedly on uncovering my own vision, on seeking an audible voice, a tour guide, that I have forgotten to listen.